As I sit here peacefully listening to the birds chirping, my kids are with their dad for the weekend, and I can’t help but reflect on the last 4 years plus. It just so happened that a Facebook memory popped up of me and my daughter 6 years ago. I sent it to her right away as it was a “bring your child to work day” pic of me and her in my classroom when I was a 6th grade teacher. After her first initial response of, “Aww, we were so cute”, she said something that truly hit me. She said, “That’s not your genuine smile. It doesn’t even look like you”. And it didn’t.
That picture was taken at a time in my life when I was struggling to be happy but just didn’t know how, or the first thing about true happiness. I cared way more back then about what I looked like on the outside. I never felt enough, no matter how pretty or fit I was. Or how big my house was. Or which car I drove. It was a time when my spirit was heavy and the darkness penetrated right through that picture.