When I was going through my divorce, it felt like the worst thing in the world. The gut-wrenching pain that I experienced in the beginning was nothing I would wish on anyone. The days calling out of work to just sit and cry uncontrollably all day felt like pure agony. I never thought it would end. I didn’t know how I could just get over losing my little family that I had created. I worried if my kids would be ok and if I was doing the right thing. I worried about my ex and if he would be ok. I knew deep down this wasn’t where I was meant to be anymore but the fear of letting go was consuming me. I didn’t know where else to turn but to my faith. My faith in knowing that it had no choice but to work out for everyone’s highest good and that we would all be ok. Eventually, I was able to move on.

Shortly after the divorce was finalized, I began dating. I found myself attracting all the wrong guys. I knew I deserved more but couldn’t understand why I was attracting the opposite. Guys that I found myself chasing rather than allowing them to chase me. Guys that were giving me way less than I deserved. I found myself settling for less than mediocre at best. This is when I began to search for answers. Clearly, I was taking me everywhere I went so I needed to understand what was going on deep inside me that would allow me to settle like this. I knew I needed to work on self-love.

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Nicole Amaturo